“I just want my child to talk.”

If you have said those words, or felt them, you are in very good company. When a child’s speech is delayed or when words that appeared seem to disappear again, the worry is immediate and real. And it is completely understandable to focus on the words: to count them, to practice them, to hope for more of them.

But here is something that changes the way most parents think about this: talking is not the starting point of communication. It is the destination.

Before a child can use words meaningfully, not just repeat them or echo them, but use them to connect, to request, to share something joyful — they need a set of foundation skills that develop long before language emerges. When those foundations are not yet solid, words may start appearing but they do not last, or they do not carry real meaning, or they arrive and then disappear again.

This is the pattern Fiona (our speech therapist at Tailored Developmental Therapies) sees regularly in families who come to us. And it is why her approach to speech therapy, grounded in DIR Floortime and play-based principles, always starts with the foundations, not with the words.

Is your child’s communication development a concern? Fiona’s play-based speech therapy sessions are designed to meet your child exactly where they are and build from the ground up. Book your free 30-minute phone consultation — available Mondays 3:30–4:30pm.

Why “Use Your Words” Does Not Work

When we focus on encouraging words before a child is ready, we might get something that looks like progress, an echoed word, a prompted label, a memorised phrase. But this is not the same as true communication.

True communication does not grow from repetition or reward alone. It grows from shared emotional experiences, genuine curiosity, and connection. When those things are present, words emerge because the child has something real they want to communicate and a person they trust to communicate it to. When those things are absent — when the focus is on the word rather than the relationship — the word may appear but it is hollow. It does not carry the meaning or the motivation that makes language actually useful.

Child and woman playing with Play Dough

Think about what it would feel like to be asked to speak in a language you barely know while you are tired, hungry, overwhelmed, or in a room full of people focused on whether you say the right thing. The pressure itself makes language harder, not easier. Our children feel exactly this, and for children whose nervous systems are already working hard to regulate, that pressure can be enough to shut communication down entirely.

So instead of teaching words first, we support connection first.

If your child has said words before and then seemed to “lose” them, this is one of the most important things to understand: words that disappear were almost always words the child was not yet truly ready for. They had arrived without the foundation beneath them. The good news is that when the foundations are built properly, words that emerge from them tend to stay, and to grow.

The Language Staircase: Building Communication From the Ground Up

The Language Staircase, Ginsburg, J., 2021, Sensory SLP / Inside Out Sensory

American speech-language pathologist and sensory-trained therapist Jessie Ginsburg describes this beautifully through her Language Staircase model (Ginsburg, J., 2021, Sensory SLP / Inside Out Sensory). The staircase shows how communication develops in layers, each one depending on the one beneath it, and all of them depending on the child’s own intrinsic motivation as the handrail that keeps them climbing.

At TDT, Fiona’s approach is deeply aligned with this model. Here is what each step looks like in practice.

  Step 1: Regulation

The ability to stay calm, comfortable, and available to connect. This is the absolute foundation, and it is the one most often overlooked when families and professionals focus on words.

A nervous system that is overwhelmed, under-stimulated, anxious, or dysregulated cannot access the higher brain functions where language lives. This is not a choice. It is neurological. Before any meaningful communication work can happen, a child needs to be in a state of calm alertness, regulated enough to be genuinely present.

This is why Fiona’s sessions always begin with regulation, noticing the child’s state, co-regulating if needed, and building the session around the child’s current capacity rather than a predetermined agenda. It is also why TDT’s broader approach to regulation, including heavy work activities, belly breathing, and reflex integration, supports the speech work so directly.

  Step 2: Engagement

The child begins to connect, to share joyful moments with another person. Eye contact, shared attention, smiling, reaching toward, turning to show, these are the earliest forms of intentional communication, long before words.

Engagement cannot be forced or drilled. It emerges when a child feels safe, when they are doing something they genuinely enjoy, and when the adult with them is following their lead rather than directing the interaction. A child who is engaged is a child who is learning, even if no words are exchanged.

When parents stop trying to elicit words and start simply enjoying their child’s company and following their interest, engagement almost always increases. And engagement is where communication begins.

  Step 3: Basic Language

Simple sounds, gestures, and first words emerge naturally within the context of connection. They appear because the child has something they genuinely want to communicate, not because they have been prompted to produce them.

This step can only develop sustainably on top of the two below it. A child who is regulated and engaged will begin to discover that communication is useful, that it gets them more of what they love, that it connects them to the people they enjoy, that it is worth the effort. Words that emerge from this discovery tend to stay and to grow.

  Step 4: Higher-Level Language

As confidence and capacity grow, so does vocabulary, sentence length, storytelling, questions, and the full richness of language. This level can only be sustained when the three foundations beneath it are solid.

Many therapy approaches focus here, on vocabulary, grammar, sentence structure. These are important. But without the foundations of regulation, engagement, and basic language, work at this level produces gains that are fragile and inconsistent. When the foundations are solid, higher-level language often emerges faster than anyone expected, because the whole system is finally working together.

What Parents Can Do Right Now: Practical Strategies

The most powerful communication support a child can receive does not happen in a therapy room. It happens at home, in the car, at the park, during bath time and bedtime, in the ordinary moments of everyday life. Here is how to make those moments count.

Start With Your Own Regulation

Before you focus on your child’s communication, check in with yourself. Are you calm? Are you in a place where you can genuinely enjoy your child without pressure, on yourself or on them, to perform? Connection is a two-way nervous system event. A regulated adult is the most important resource a dysregulated child has access to.

💡  Do not start ‘working on communication’ when either of you is tired, hungry, or stressed. Co-regulate first — a walk, some quiet time, a snack — and connect later. Five minutes of genuine connection is worth more than an hour of pressured language work.

Follow Your Child’s Lead in Play

Join whatever your child is doing rather than redirecting them to an activity you have chosen. If they are lining up cars, line up cars with them. If they are spinning in circles, spin too. If they are stacking blocks, stack alongside them. This communicates something profound: you are interesting to me exactly as you are. That message is the foundation of trust, and trust is the foundation of communication.

• Copy their actions, sounds, or movements, this shows you are tuned in and invites them to notice you
• Smile, pause, and wait, communication happens in the spaces, not in the rush
• Resist the urge to direct, correct, or redirect, this is their play, and you are a guest in it

Children and Mother playing with toys

Celebrate Engagement Before Language

Every time your child looks at you, giggles, hands you something, includes you in their play, or shows you something they find interesting, that is a real communication act. Name it. Celebrate it. These moments are not “just” play. They are the steps on the staircase.

When your child brings you a toy, points at something outside the window, or tugs your hand to show you something, pause and respond to that communication fully before adding any language. They are already talking to you. The question is whether you are listening in the right way.

Create Opportunities for Intentional Communication Without Pressure

Gentle, playful moments where your child needs to signal or ask for help are among the most powerful communication-building opportunities available. The key word is gentle, we are creating opportunities, not obstacles.

• Give a snack in a closed container and wait expectantly, will they signal that they need help?
• Pause in the middle of a favourite game (bubbles, tickles, rolling a ball) and wait, will they signal they want more?
• Start a familiar routine and leave out a step, will they notice and communicate?

In these waiting moments, stay present and playful. Use your voice, face, and body expressively to stay “hooked in”, a playful sound of effort while trying to open a container keeps the child engaged in the moment without pressure. We want to sit beside them in the problem, not become the problem.

💡  Wait expectantly and celebrate any attempt, a look, a gesture, a sound, a reach, not just words. Every communication attempt is worth responding to, regardless of whether it looks like what you were hoping for.

Use Language That Reflects Rather Than Corrects

When your child communicates — in any form — respond by reflecting and expanding, not by correcting. If they say “dog running,” you say “Yes! The dog is running fast!” You are not expecting them to copy you. Their brain is taking in the model and doing something with it below the surface, even when it does not show immediately.

• Talk about what your child is doing and feeling rather than drilling vocabulary: “You’re pushing that car really fast!” rather than “What is that? Say CAR.”
• Use describing words, proper names, and full sentences, your language is their model
• Ask open questions when they are ready, questions that invite more than yes or no, but do not rush this stage

Make It Meaningful and Emotionally Connected

Language grows best when it is connected to genuine emotion and real experience. Bath time, meals, the park, getting dressed, these are not interruptions to language learning, they are the primary sites of it. Talk about what is happening, what your child is experiencing, what you are noticing together.

“You found a snail! A tiny snail!” said with genuine delight teaches more than ten flashcard drills. Because the language is connected to a real moment that your child cares about, and that is how meaning is built.

Read Together — Differently

Reading with young children builds vocabulary, phonological awareness, narrative understanding, and the understanding that symbols carry meaning. But the way you read matters as much as whether you read.

• Let your child open the cover and turn pages, this supports eye tracking, fine motor skills, and a sense of belonging in the reading process
• Follow their interest in the book rather than reading every word, point to what they look at, name it, and respond to their reactions
• As they grow, talk about characters, feelings, and what might happen next, these conversations build the narrative and perspective-taking skills that underpin complex language

💡  Authors whose books are particularly well-suited to supporting early language development include Mem Fox, Pamela Allen, Dr Seuss, Julia Donaldson, and Aaron Blabey, all use strong rhythm, rhyme, and repetition that helps the brain wire for language.

Sing, Rhyme, and Move Together

Research consistently shows that children learn more readily when learning is playful and when it involves movement. Songs and nursery rhymes support phonological awareness, rhythm, and the joy of shared language, and the combination of music, movement, and relationship is one of the most powerful learning environments available to a young child.

Importantly, research also shows that babies and toddlers are more responsive to their parent or caregiver singing to them than to recorded music. Your voice is what they want. Dance, use actions, make it silly. The more connected and joyful the experience, the more the brain lays down.

Shift the Goal: From Talking More to Connecting More

The single most powerful shift a parent can make when worried about their child’s communication is this: stop focusing on words and start focusing on connection.

When parents focus on connection and shared joy, on following their child’s lead, on celebrating every communicative act, on being genuinely present without an agenda, words emerge naturally. Not through pressure, but through play and purpose.

So if your child is not using words yet, take a breath. The work you can do right now, building regulation, engagement, and genuine shared moments, is not a consolation prize while you wait for speech therapy. It is the most important speech therapy possible. And you can do it in your pyjamas, at the kitchen table, during bath time, with no equipment and no expertise required. Just presence, warmth, and a willingness to follow your child’s lead.

Every shared look, every giggle, every moment where your child pulls you toward something they find exciting, these are steps on the staircase. They are not nothing while you wait for words. They are everything.

When to Seek Support and What TDT Can Offer

The strategies in this post are genuinely powerful and are the right starting point for every family. But there are times when professional support is needed alongside them, and the earlier that support is sought, the better the outcomes tend to be.

Consider reaching out to TDT if:

• Your child is not babbling or making communicative sounds by 12 months
• Your child is not using any intentional words by 18 months
• Your child has words that appeared and then disappeared
• Your child is not pointing, showing, or using gestures to communicate by 12–15 months
• Your child is not engaging in shared attention — looking between you and an object of interest — by 12 months
• Your child’s speech is significantly unclear compared to peers, despite being in the expected age range for talking
• You have concerns about your child’s social engagement, eye contact, or interest in other people
• Your child’s communication seems to go backwards when they are stressed, sick, or experiencing change

Fiona’s speech therapy sessions at TDT use DIR Floortime and play-based approaches, which means therapy follows your child’s lead, builds on their genuine interests, and prioritises the emotional and relational safety that communication development depends on. There is no drilling, no flashcards, no pressure to perform. Just skilled, warm, responsive support that meets your child exactly where they are.

For children whose communication difficulties appear alongside sensory sensitivities, regulation challenges, demand avoidance, or retained primitive reflexes, Fiona and Emily often work together in joint sessions, addressing both the communication development and the nervous system foundations that support it. This combined approach is one of TDT’s most distinctive clinical offerings and one that families who have found standard speech therapy insufficient often find makes a significant difference.

You can read more about the connection between nervous system foundations and speech in our post on speech, communication, and the role of primitive reflex integration, and about how our broader therapeutic approach works in our post on the Taylor & Trott Pyramid of Learning.

Sessions are available at our Mawson Lakes clinic, via Zoom, or in your home, because access to support should not depend on geography or the ability to travel with a young child.

Frequently Asked Questions

My child had words and then lost them. Should I be worried?

Word loss — where words that appeared seem to disappear — is always worth taking seriously and discussing with a professional promptly. It can occur for many reasons, including regression during periods of developmental leap, illness, significant change, or stress. In some cases it can be an early indicator of a neurodevelopmental profile that warrants assessment. Please do not wait and watch, book a phone consultation and let us help you work out whether and how urgently support is needed.

My child is 2 and not talking. How worried should I be?

By two years of age, most children are using 50 or more words and beginning to combine two words together. If your child is significantly behind this, early support is worthwhile, not because there is necessarily something seriously wrong, but because early intervention produces better outcomes than later intervention in almost every case. The earlier the foundations are built, the more time the whole language system has to develop. Book a phone consultation, even if you are not sure whether your concerns are significant enough.

My child talks at home but not at school or with others. Is this a problem?

This is a very common pattern and one worth exploring. A child who communicates freely at home but not in other contexts is often telling you something important about their regulation and sense of safety in different environments. It is not shyness in the simple sense, it is often a nervous system response to unfamiliar demands. This pattern can be supported very effectively when understood correctly. Read more about how safety and nervous system regulation affect communication.

Do I need a referral to see Fiona at TDT?

No referral is needed. Families can book directly via our website. We offer a free 30-minute phone consultation as the first step, this allows us to understand your child’s situation, answer your questions, and be honest about whether TDT is the right fit before any commitment is made.

Can speech therapy be funded through NDIS?

Yes. TDT works with NDIS participants, and Fiona’s speech therapy is accessible to plan-managed and self-managed participants under relevant NDIS support categories. We are happy to discuss funding options during your complimentary phone consultation.

What is DIR Floortime and how is it different from other speech therapy approaches?

DIR Floortime (Developmental, Individual Difference, Relationship-based model) is an approach developed by Dr Stanley Greenspan that prioritises the child’s emotional and relational development as the foundation for all other learning, including speech and communication. Rather than working on isolated speech sounds or vocabulary in a structured, adult-directed way, Floortime follows the child’s lead, builds on their genuine interests, and creates communication in the context of real connection and play. This aligns with everything we know about how language actually develops, through shared emotional experiences, curiosity, and relationship, and produces communication that is meaningful and motivated rather than prompted and hollow.

References

Ginsburg, J. (2021). The Language Staircase. Sensory SLP / Inside Out Sensory.

Greenspan, S. & Wieder, S. (2006). Engaging Autism: Using the Floortime Approach to Help Children Relate, Communicate, and Think.

Wetherby, A., & Prizant, B. (2000). Communication and Symbolic Behavior Scales (CSBS) — early foundations of intentional communication.

Is communication development a concern for your child?

Fiona’s play-based speech therapy sessions build the foundations that make language last.